Lidl Chocolate Bunnies to be Melted Down to Middle Fingers to the World

After the Federal Supreme Court of Switzerland ruled that the chocolate company Lidl was in violation of a trademark law that protected Swiss chocolate giant Lindt’s iconic chocolate bunny from being imitated, Lidl spokeswoman, Liridona Klausner, says the company plans to melt down their “similar, but different“ chocolate hares into compact fists with erect middle fingers. Key to the initiative is to make sure all salesman coach retailers on how to properly stock the bunnies so that customers recognize the middle fingers are pointing at them. “Product recognition is probably the most important factor in selling chocolate,” explained Ms. Klausner over a Zoom call. Some question whether the decision to melt the bunnies into a symbol that, in some countries, including America, means to go fuck yourself, is the right move. “I’m doubtful consumers will have much of an appetite for that kind of chocolate coated affront, but then again, people will eat almost anything,“ says food critic Silvan Zimmermann. In any case, chocolate aficionados can expect the chocolate meltdown to cool to consumable temperatures by Easter 2023.

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