Doctor Concludes Football is Dangerous to One’s Health

A medical doctor has confirmed football can be dangerous to one’s physical health. Many have suspected this to be the case for decades, but only recently has the evidence been so overwhelming. “Look. Im a football fan. I love the sport as much as the next Dolphins fan, but it’s unfortunately the case that the game presents a set of risks.” He added, “As soon as I took a look at the official injury reports, and personally treated some players, the connection was obvious in my view. It’s pretty simple: football is dangerous.” The NFL declined to comment on the doctor’s findings. At this time, no games are expected to be postponed, though some expect the league to conduct its own study into whether the repeated act of 250 lb men slamming into the heads, shoulders and chests of men of similar weight and stature carries any imminent health risks.

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